Bevan James Eyles

Serious guy

I got two comments on how the photos I put on this blogg and Skype are serious. Dunk, one of my best mates, told me that it wasn't real because I'm normally a smily guy. Hence the smily photo of me!
Maybe this is how I want to be seen in the world, a serious guy. I always find it interesting how we look at ourselves compared to how others see us. Often when I have a photo that I like of myself the comments from others don’t match my thinking. I remember one time I had a photo where I looked extremely scruffy and happy, a lady I knew said, ‘That’s so you.’ At first that I didn’t like the photo but then I realised that’s how the world sees me. After that my option on that photo changed, it became my favorite photo. It made me realise that I’m a scruffy, happy guy. Not a way bad way to be.

BJE

First song

I wrote this song, I kind of proud of it so I put it on here:

Mark

We began this with the knowledge,
Light would be this link,
It was only an act,
It was just that.

You're fixed on a need for you,
Answering the longing to defeat,
Your dismay, your dread, your fear
I had no idea, I had no idea

I drop my shoulders down,
And start to tie the string around,
My hands, my feet and my head,
I drop my shoulders down,
I drop my shoulders down.

I know you've assumed control of me,
Taken possession of my destiny,
How could this be,
How could I have let this be.

So here I am looking at the shadow of what I want to be,
Battling the demons multiplying in me,
The stair I've climbed up have just flattened out,
Thoughts that I didn't know existed are flowing free.

I drop my shoulders down,
And start to tie the string around,
My hands, my feet and my head,
I drop my shoulders down,
I drop my shoulders down.

It's the mark you make in me.

Should I slow down?

Hey

It's been an interesting time in my life over the last 3 months. I normally go through life achieving big things in the fastest of times. During this time I haven't done much at all. I can reflect and have some good reasons for this but instead I've had some thoughts on what this means to me.
I've found that I when I slowed down for more than a couple weeks I started to spend time reflecting on my achievements over the last year. I would be looking at pictures, reading diaries, and forums about the things I have done. It was like I was trying to hold onto my identity, like that past made up what I am. I normally live in the moment and I hardly reflect at all. It was all a bit scary, like my best times are slipping away and that looking back is the only way to hold onto what I am.
The cool thing is that I managed to see what I was doing and take actions that brought me back into the now. I wondering how I will be when life forces me to slow down, will it ever be able to?

BJE

Flickr

This is a test post from

, a fancy photo sharing thing.